


White Wings

by madsmeetsmisha



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Age Difference, Alternate Universe - Soulmates, Angst with a Happy Ending, Fluff and Smut, M/M, Not Actually Unrequited Love, Oblivious Castiel, Soulmate-Identifying Marks, Student Dean Winchester, Teacher Castiel, Unrequited Love
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-08-08
Updated: 2018-11-11
Packaged: 2019-06-24 00:31:38
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 12
Words: 18,793
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15618471
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/madsmeetsmisha/pseuds/madsmeetsmisha
Summary: When the new lodger of the Winchesters not only turns out to be Dean's English teacher but also his soulmate and on top of all the guy is also married everything gets really complicated...





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> I was in the mood to write something new because The True Mate and Never are nearly done. This time it's a soulmate AU. Of course, there will be a lot of angst but also a happy ending. Please be warned: English is not my first language! So I am sure about the fact that there will be mistakes, but I try my best! If there is someone out there who likes to beta read this or some of my other stories, you are very welcome!  
> I hope you enjoy this little fic ^.^

_December 29th_

„What the fuck?  Completely speechless, Dean looked at the tattoo on the inside of his thighs while the water of the shower continued running over his back. The sign showed two white wings stretching out elegantly. It was beautiful and incredibly detailed. But why the hell was it suddenly there? Just one minute ago there was no tattoo, was there? Deans eighteenth birthday was in three weeks. Of course, Dean knew what that meant. Everyone knew what it meant when a Soulmate mark appeared earlier. You are supposed to meet your soulmate earlier. Sometimes this happened. All the other people got their tattoo exactly on their eighteenth birthday. Whether they met their soulmate that day or not until they were thirty. Very few people didn't get a tattoo. This meant that their soulmate had either already died or there was simply no one to match them. Somehow Dean always expected to be in the last group.

 He did not know now whether he should be pleased or excited, or if he should be afraid. Damn it! Meeting his soulmate was a big deal. He quickly finished his shower and grabbed the phone to text Charlie.

Dean: Need to show you something!

Charlie: What is it?

Dean: Don’t ask stupid questions. Come here ASAP!

Charlie: Oki.

 

Five minutes later she knocked on his door. It was a good thing that his best friend lived next door.

"Okay, Winchester. I've finished my breakfast earlier for you. I hope it's really important. " She greeted him breathlessly.

Dean started to take off his jeans but Charlie raised his hands defensively.

„Wow, wow, easy tiger. I am sure I don’t wanna see your dick!”

Deann rolled his eyes.

“Of course you don’t want to.  But I am not going to show you my dick.”

He pushed down his jeans and showed Charlie the tattoo.

“Oh my God! Dean! This… this is amazing!”

“Yeah, isn’t it!”

“That means you will meet your soulmate soon. Wow, that’s exciting!”

“Yes, it is. I mean, I am not sure but I think it is.” Dean grinned sheepishly.

“Of course it is. I am so curious how they will be. Do you think it’s a boy or a girl?”

“I really have no idea”

“What would you prefer?”

Dean just shrugged.

“I just hope they will like me.”

“Of course they will. Dean, you are amazing! You are brave and funny and clever and cute and hot as hell, even I can tell. Why would anyone not like you?”

Dean grinned at her enthusiasm. For Charlie, everything was so easy. But maybe she was right and it was easy. Maybe he would simply meet his soulmate, fall in love and then live happily ever after. But somehow Dean doubted it would be that easy.

 

<3     <3     <3     <3     <3     <3      <3     <3     <3      <3     <3     <3      <3     <3     <3      <3     <3     <3      <3    

 

 

_January 2nd_

 

„Boys, hurry up! Mr Novak will arrive in a few minutes! I don’t want you to come downstairs in your pyjamas!” Mary Winchester called.

Castiel Novak would be their lodger for the next six month. Ever since John had the car accident and was enchained to a wheelchair they needed extra money to pay their bills. The last lodger was a nice guy called Benny. Dean liked him. But he met his soulmate Andrea and they decided to live together. So the Winchesters had to take in someone new. Castiel Novak was the substitute for Mrs Miller until the end of the semester. Mrs Miller was an English teacher at the Oak High School but she got pregnant. So Mr Novak wasn’t only their new lodger, he would also be Deans new English teacher. Yeah! Who wanted to even see a teacher after school let alone live with him under one roof? Fuck his life! The last six months before he went to college would be terrible. But of course, he knew that his parents had no other choice. They needed the money.

With a sigh, Dean slipped into a T-shirt and jeans and ran downstairs. It was the last Saturday of winter break and actually, he would have preferred to sleep in, but his mother had to insist that the whole family would be there to welcome Mr Novakall.  It was strange enough that a stranger should live with them under one roof. Well, it wasn't weird with Benny. But Benny was just Benny and he was not his English teacher. The lodgers always lived in the attic. There they had everything they needed, including a bathroom and kitchen facilities. Actually, the attic was meant for him. He had expanded it together with his father and uncle Bobby. But then the accident happened and everything was different. It was okay. Dean wouldn't be here after the summer break. If everything went well, he'd go to Pasadena College on a sports scholarship. That was his plan, anyway. Dean couldn't suppress a groan when the doorbell rang.

Mary opened the door with enthusiasm. 

„Mr Novak it’s so nice to meet you. Come in.“ She welcomed the new lodger.

"Put your luggage in the lobby. The boys will bring it upstairs later. I've prepared breakfast for all of us. Please follow me. I will show you the house afterwards. At first, you have to meet my family."

When his mother entered the kitchen with the new lodger, Dean's heart almost stopped.

Mr Novak was the most attractive person he had ever met.

 

His hair was dark and really a mess. It looked like he had just got out of bed. He was about the size of Dean, his lips were plump and pink and they looked so soft. But the most compelling were his eyes.

 This guy had the most amazing blue eyes Dean had ever seen.

„Morning, boys, Mr Winchester, nice to meet you.“ He said.

And fuck his voice did something to Dean. Fuck! Fuck! Fuck!

How would he be able to prevent getting a boner in every single future English lesson when he had to listen to this voice. Besides, the man looked like all of Dean's wet dreams at once! Oh, oh. That wasn't good at all!

 

„This is Sam my youngest Son. He's our bookworm. "

Sam shook Mr Novak's hand and looked at his mother.

"You say that like it's a bad thing, Mum. Besides, it's not true. Dean reads at least as much as I do. You'll just never "

His mother just smiled.

"And this is Dean, my eldest son. We hope he will get a sports scholarship to college next year. "

Mr Novak looked at Dean curiously and reached out his hand to greet him. And there Dean saw it. The tattoo on Mr Novak’s hand. Two white spread wings. Fuck!

That couldn't be true!  No!

Mr Novak was his soulmate! Okay, the guy was incredibly hot, but he was his fucking teacher. How would that work? Besides, they were here in their kitchen with Dean's parents and his little brother. He couldn't possibly show his own tattoo here. Oh, sweet Jesus! Could it have been worse?

"Which college do you want to go to?"

"Uhmm I.... I. . . . . Preferably Pontiac in California. I want to study engineering. But I know it's not easy to get in there. So it's very likely to be some other college. " Dean shrugged his shoulders.

„Bullshit, Dean! You are an A-plus student and you are an amazing football player. Why should they reject you?" Sam contradicted immediately. Dean blushed.

"Maybe we'll meet next year in Pontiac. I have a permanent job there at Green Hill High starting in fall. "

Mr Novak smiled politely at him. Oh, God, this was his soulmate.

He had no idea how he was supposed to get through this breakfast.

"Please sit down, Mr Novak. Would you rather have tea or coffee?" Mary asked.

"Coffee, please. "

When everyone was sitting at the kitchen table, Dean's dad came in.

"Mr Novak. Glad you’re here. I'm sorry I'm a bit late, but my morning routine takes a little longer since the accident.

The men greeted each other friendly and soon they ate Mary’s wonderful pancakes.

Suddenly John's eyes fell on Mr Novak's hands.

"Oh, I see you're married. "

What the fuck?

"Yes, but Meg, my wife is in Europe right now. She is an archaeologist working at a site in Greece. "

His soulmate was married? Fuck! He had a wife.

Dean couldn't do anything against the pain that suddenly grew in his chest. Why the hell was his soulmate married? Fuck! Of all the people in the world, he had to have a soulmate who didn't want him. If this hadn’t been so sad, he would have laughed.

"Isn't it hard to be away from your soulmate for so long?" Mary wanted to know.

"We're not soulmates. I... I've never had the luck to meet my soulmate. "Mr Novak looked at his hands.

"What? Aren’t you a little impatient. You can't be more than thirty. There's a good chance you will meet your soulmate in the future. " Mary said with a frown.

Oh, no! Certainly not, because Dean had no intention of telling his English teacher that he was his soulmate.

"I am twenty-eight. And of course, this could be the case I... "

“I am sorry Mr Novak. You must excuse my wife. She is a hopeless romantic and firmly believes in the principle of soulmates. Which is probably because we are soulmates ourselves. " John said apologetically.

“It’s fine, Mr Winchester. I would…”

"What if your soulmate is younger and you haven't met him yet? What if he gets his tattoo right now at this moment, but you are already married? "Mary wanted to know.

“Mary! This is none of our business!” John interrupted her.

"Oh, God, I hope not! I want an equal partner, not a child. " Mr.Novak answered.

No child?  Asshole! So that's what he saw in him. A fucking child! But of course, a rational part in him was aware of the fact that Mr Novak would be his teacher for the next few months. So what else could he see in him but a child! 

"I am really sorry…” John said again. He was obviously feeling uncomfortable. "No problem, Mr Wincheter. It's not like I don't believe soulmates. I just think there are other ways to be happy as well. "

"Yes, of course. Every one as he wishes, right, dear?" John looked at his wife.

Mary shrugged her shoulders, definitely not convinced.

"You only forgot one thing, Mr Novak. " Mary said calmly "It's not just about you, it's about the happiness of your soulmate too. But you don’t care, do you? "

Wow, Dean never heard his mother speaking so rude with anyone let alone a lodger. But there had never been a time he loved her more! His mother was an amazing woman and she was fighting for the things she believed in. He took his plate and cup and carried both to the sink.

But nevertheless, Dean had to get out of here. Away from his soulmate, who obviously didn't want him and thought he was just a child. Damn it!

"Excuse me, please. I'm about to meet Charlie. " He left the kitchen with it without looking back again.


	2. Chapter 2

_**January 9th** _

 

Castiel didn’t like first days at work. He didn't know the people, he didn't know the building. It was always making him feel uncomfortable. Of course, he had already met Principle Ellen Harvelle at the interview two months ago, but he didn't know anyone else. So it was no wonder if he was a little excited when he entered the school building. His first way led him to the secretary's office. The secretary, her name was Donna Hanscum, as he could read on the sign in front of her door, already seemed to expect him.

"Mr Novak. Glad you're already here. I've previously prepared everything for you. Here's your schedule and these are your keys. I'll give you a map of the building to help you find your way around. Your class is across from Principle Harvelle office. I hope you'll be very comfortable."

Castiel smiled at the young woman. "Thank you very much. If everyone here is as friendly and helpful as you are, I think I'll be fine. "

She beamed at him and handed him all the papers.

Cas entered his new classroom only one minute later. This was the place he would teach English Literature for the next few months.  All in all the room looked like any other classroom in the US but it seemed to be some sort of concept to paint the walls in different colours. The hallways, for example, were green, Principle Harvelle’s room was blue and his classroom was yellow. He liked it. Yellow was a cheerful colour. Someone knocked on the door. It was the secretary.

“Sorry, Mr Novak. I forgot to give you the list of your students. There is only one little change in the Senior Class. Dean Winchester switched to Mrs Hannah Johnsons class.”

Wow! Dean Winchester switched classes. This shouldn’t feel like he was dumped. But somehow it did.

“Do you know why he switched classes?” Castiel asked.

“He wanted to attend Mrs Barnes Music Class but her music lessons collided with your English lessons. And he told me that he wanted to practice his writing. So, Mrs Johnson's class was the ideal choice.” Donna explained.

Yes, of course, this was a good explanation, but somehow Cas couldn’t choke the emotion that this had nothing to do with the music lessons or Dean’s pleasure in writing. The boy was avoiding him. He did so since Cas arrived. Cas rarely saw him when he was at the Winchesters house. He knew it had to do with his marriage. But why did Dean care? Why did his mother care? Cas had no idea. When he saw the boy for the first time he was surprised that he was so attracted to him. Yes, of course, Dean Winchester was attractive and Cas was always more attracted to men than to women but that wasn’t the point. There was something about Dean that pulled Cas towards the boy. And so he found himself disappointed when a day passed in which he didn’t see him. To be honest, he was looking forward to seeing him in his class. Damn it!

“Thank you Mrs Hanscum. It was very nice of you to bring me the lists.”

“You are very welcome. I wish you luck on your first day, Mr Novak.”

When the secretary left his classroom Cas realized that he was not only disappointed that Dean wouldn’t be in his class, he was also angry. He wanted to get to know the boy. With a deep sigh, he decided to think about it later and start to prepare for his classes.

 

When he left the school building at ten minutes past five he was really worn out. The day was exhausting. The classes went well but the rest… Anna Milton, one of the history teachers asked about his soulmate and was very offended he was married to someone else. Hannah Johnsen told him later that Anna lost her soulmate a few months ago of cancer. So yeah, he could understand her feelings but nevertheless… Then he saw Dean at the lockers. He was hugging a red-haired girl and Cas didn’t know why but he didn’t like it one bit. Now he was sitting in his car at the school parking lot taking a deep breath. He needed someone to talk and decided to call Meg even if it was one a.m. in Greece now.

 

Meg: “Clarence?”

Cas: “Hey Meg.”

Meg: “Hey, you all right? It’s in the middle of the night here.”

Cas: “Yeah, I know, sorry. But… I needed someone to talk to.”

Meg: “ So bad, huh?”

Cas: “Much worse! Everyone hates me.”

Meg: “Come on, Cas. There is no way anyone could ever hate you.”

Cas: “But they do…”

Castiel told her everything about Mary and Anna and about Dean changing classes and avoiding him. He left out the story about his feelings when he saw Dean hugging the girl, though. This was nothing he wanted to say out loud.

Meg:  “I am sure you are overreacting. Okay, this Anna may be pissed but can you blame her? She lost her Soulmate.  But why should Mrs Winchester react this way? It’s none of her business. And her son Clarence, he is a teenager! They change their minds every second. I am sure tonight at dinner everything will be all right. You’ll see. Trust me. And if not… You know you could tell them the truth, don’t you?“

Cas: “No, I can’t go around and tell everybody that I married you to help you. It’s illegal to marry someone to get them the citizenship, Meg. I could go to jail for it and you would get banished from the US.”

Meg: I know and I will be grateful forever, Cas. But please remember that you promised me to tell me if it gets too much or if you meet your soulmate. We can easily get a divorce. I don’t want you to suffer because I want to be a part of the US Archeologie Team. You are my best friend and I don’t want you to get hurt!”

Cas: I know Meg. And you are probably right. I just overreacted. I should let you sleep now.

Meg: Yes, all women need their beauty sleep. Good night, Clarence.

Cas: Night Meg!

 

With a sigh, Cas started the engine and drove to the Winchesters house. Mr Winchester welcomed him at the entrance.

„Mr Novak! How was your first day at our high school?“ He asked kindly.

“Thank you for asking. It was okay, I suppose.” Cas answered.

“Oh, I think it was more than okay, wasn’t it? I think I have to ask Dean what he is saying about his new English Teacher.”

“Ahm … Dean isn’t… he changed classes…”

“What? Why on earth would he do that?“ The other man looked at Cas in surprise.

„I don’t know, Mr Winchester, but I am sure he has his reasons. If you would excuse me. I need to have a shower before dinner.“

When Cas came downstairs after a refreshing shower and a change of clothes, he overheard Mr and Mrs Winchester argue in the kitchen. Cas didn’t want to eavesdrop, but he wasn’t able to make himself noticeable either. So he tried to be as silent as possible and listened to their discussion.

 

“John, this isn’t right. It’s weird that someone doesn’t want to meet their soulmate.”

“He never said he doesn’t want to meet them, Mary.”

“Yeah, but he married someone else.”

“We don’t know his reasons. And this is none of our business! He is our lodger and we have to act polite. We can’t afford him leaving, Mary. We need the money.  And you know it!”

“Would you even say so if one of our sons would be his soulmate?”

“Sam or Dean? No, maybe I wouldn’t and I am grateful that they are not.“

„Are you sure?“ Mary asked her husband.

„What do you mean?“

„Didn’t you recognize Deans reaction when we had our first breakfast together, his pained look? And now he is avoiding him as much as possible. Nearly every day he is at Charlie's. He even changed his English class. He loved English literature. Now he attends Englisch writing.“

„Did you ask Dean?“

„No, of course not! I rarely see him any more.“ Mary's voice was desperate now.

 

.


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you like the new chapter even if it is a bit angsty ^.^

_**January 17th** _

 

„Dean, maybe you should talk to him,“ Charlie said with a very serious face.

"What would be the point? He's married and thinks I'm still a child. " Dean said and shrugged.

"He didn't exactly say that you are a child, did he?" Charlie interjected.

"No, but I know he meant it. What do you expect me to do? To beg him to leave his wife? I have no right to do that. Besides, I don't think he'd do it anyway. "

"Of course you have the right. You're his soulmate!"

"He doesn't want a soulmate! Charlie, he doesn't want me or he wouldn't be married. I don't think two little white wings will change that fact. He also said that he chose an alternative way of living. I'll have to forget that I have a soulmate. That’s the only way. Living with him doesn't make it any easier, though. But in a few months, he is gone. I thought about…removing the tattoo... "

"Dean, no!" Charlie looked at him in shock.

"Why not? It would just remind me my whole life that my soulmate doesn’t want me. I wonder why he didn't remove it a long time ago. "

"Please, Dean, you can't be serious!"

"Of course I am. The longer I think about it, the better I like the idea. " Dean said.

"Come on, Dean. It wouldn't change anything. He would still be your soulmate. "

"Yes, but he would never know. I could get another tattoo to replace it. There are cases where people never meet their soulmates. So no one would notice that mine is fake. "

"Dean, I still think you should talk to him. " Charlie tried to convince him. 

“The less I deal with him, the better. I don't want to like him, Charlie. "

"But maybe he'd like you, too, and everything would be fine in the end. "

Dean laughed a brief unhappy laugh. 

„I don’t think so. But we should end this conversation now. Next Wednesday is my birthday and we have to plan a party for the weekend after. Are you sure it's okay to throw the party here? Your mother doesn't mind?" Dean wanted to know.

"No, it's okay. Mum's staying at Aunt Alexandra's. Don’t worry. It was her idea to make the party at our house.”

Dean was glad they finally changed the subject. For the next hour, they were occupied to plan everything. The only problem was where they should get the beer but Charlie's mom helped them and agreed to buy it if they promised not to drink the harder stuff.   

Later when Dean was on his way home, a plan began to form in his head.  As soon as he was in his room he started to draw some sketches. Out of all the drawings he made, the last one he liked best. It showed a simplified sun with a pentagram in the middle. This would be his fake soulmate tattoo.

He'd turn eighteen in one week. Then he would be old enough to get a tattoo and remove the Soulmate tattoo without the permission of his parents. Somehow this thought made him confident. He would be able to live a  life without his soulmate. It wouldn’t be easy but it would be possible.

 

 

_**January 24th** _

 

When the alarm clock rang, he first wanted to turn around again to get a few minutes more sleep. The bed was so warm and cosy, but then he remembered that it was his birthday. Finally! Dean had thought it through very carefully. He would drive to school with Sam as usual, but then he would skip school and drive to a tattoo shop in Lawrence. From Olathe to Lawrence it was only a forty minutes ride. He called one of the most famous tattoo shops in Lawrence right after talking to Charlie and made an appointment. Dean had to admit he was nervous. Of course, he was. He would somehow change his fate by replacing his soulmate tattoo with a self-designed one.

He quickly slipped into his jeans and a T-shirt and went downstairs into the kitchen. He knew that a pie would be waiting for him there. Or at least he hoped so.

Dad, Mum and Sam were already sitting at the table, waiting for him. In the middle, there was an amazing looking cherry pie with eighteen candles on top. When Mary heard Dean running down the stairs, she started lighting the candles. As soon as Dean entered the kitchen, his family started singing Happy Birthday for him. They sang embarrassingly wrong, but it was cute and Dean loved it.

„Aww thank you guys!“ he said.

"Dean, you have to blow out the candles and make a wish. " Sam said.

Dean took a deep breath and blew out all eighteen candles at once.

"Now make a wish. "  His mother ordered with a smile.

At that moment Dean saw Mr Novak leaning in the doorframe staring at him. Dean knew what he really wished but he also knew that he wouldn’t get it. When they were younger Jo always told him how curious she was about her soulmate and how romantic it was to finally meet them. Dean often teased her being cheesy. But now all he wanted was this man to be his. The thought confused and annoyed him at the same time. It was pathetic. Why couldn’t he just let go?

But with the removal of the tattoo, he would take the first step in the right direction today. His family hugged him and wished him a happy birthday. Mr Novak also wished him well and shook his hand. Dean had a feeling that the man looked at him in a different way, that he was searching for something in his eyes. But maybe this was just wishful thinking. 

Five more months, Dean thought. Then he would never see this man again and there would n’t be anything left to remind him of his soulmate. He didn’t know whether the thought calmed him or frightened him.

"Would you like a piece of Dean's birthday pie, too?" Mary asked Mr Novak.

"Oh, I... I don't want to disturb. . . . . I... " The teacher stammered

 "You must try one slice, Mr Novak! This is Dean's favourite pie. " Sam tried to convince him.

Mr Novak let himself be persuaded and so they all sat at the breakfast table just a minute later, ate pie and drank coffee. The atmosphere wasn’t as tense as usual. Maybe because of Dean’s birthday? Maybe nobody wanted to spoil the mood. Dean thought about how he would have enjoyed celebrating his birthday with his family and his soulmate if the situation would be different. How he would have looked forward to getting to know the man better, to learn what his favourite dishes were, what he liked and what he didn't like. But life was as it was and therefore it didn't matter if he wished to get to know Mr Novak better or not. The man wasn't interested in him. Dean had to learn to accept that, even if it hurt. And it did fucking hurt like a bitch.


	4. Chapter 4

_**January 24th** _

 

Actually, Castiel was thinking about going to work without breakfast that day. He knew it was Dean's eighteenth birthday and that the situation between him and the Winchesters was more than tense, he thought it would be better this way. Maybe if Dean got his soulmate tattoo today the situation would calm down a bit. Mary Winchester would see that Dean wasn't his soulmate, and everything would be fine. Maybe then she wouldn't face him with so much suppressed anger. However, if Cas was honest with himself, he had to admit that he didn't like the idea that Dean should have another soulmate. That he didn’t like it was not the right expression, it really hurt him physically to think about it. Though it was ridiculous, of course. Dean Winchester was eighteen and a student. Even though he wasn't his student, it was still not right to think of him in such a way. He could only hope that the next five months would pass quickly. Maybe it would be a good thing Dean came home tonight with a soulmate tattoo. A tattoo that had nothing to do with wings, especially white wings.

No, Castiel really just wanted to get past the kitchen as quickly as possible, but when he saw Dean standing there with a smile on his face, Cas couldn't help but wait a moment and watch him blow out the candles. Of course, Cas wondered what Dean had wished for.

"Would you like a piece of Dean's birthday pie, too?" Mary Winchester jolted him out of his thoughts. Damn! He shouldn't have stopped to watch Dean.

"Oh, I... I don't want to disturb. . . . . I..."

Dean looked at him. His gaze was unreadable as always. He would give his right arm to know what the boy was thinking right now.

 "You must try one slice, Mr Novak! This is Dean's favourite pie." Sam tried to convince him.

Fuck! It would be very rude to refuse now.

"Okay. If I'm really not disturbing your family birthday." Cas said.

"Bullshit! Dean won’t mind." Sam said enthusiastically.  Cas liked Sam. The boy reminded him a lot of himself when he was younger. In the short time since Cas lived at the Winchester house, Sam was the only one he had talked to for longer. John Winchester also spoke to him more often, but it was just small talk. Cas was able to talk to Sam about literature. And although he was only fourteen years old, he already had an incredible understanding of literature.

„Language, Sam!“ Mr Winchester rebuked him. The younger Winchester boy only grinned.

Mrs Winchester handed Cas a plate with a big slice of the pie.

“Happy Birthday, Dean!” Cas said.

„Thank you, Mr Novak.“

„Oh my god. This pie is amazing, Mrs Winchester. No wonder it’s Dean’s favourite.”

Mary Winchester smiled at him.

The atmosphere wasn’t as cold as sometimes during dinner. Probably because of Dean’s birthday Mrs Winchester tried to be nice.

"Mr Novak, what literature are you discussing with your senior class right now?" he asked.

"Oh, we're going through Dickens now. Right now we're dealing with the bad guys. Today, for example, we will take a closer look at Uriah Heep," Cas explained.

"Oh, I love David Copperfield. I read that book two years ago. " Sam answered.

Of course, the boy read it at the age of twelve. Cas himself had been thirteen when he explored his love for Charles Dickens.

"I can't understand why you're not attending to English literature this year, Dean. It sounds exciting. "

"That's right. " Dean replied. "Sounds exciting. But I wanted to try something new this year. "

Dean shrugged.

“Yeah, writing is interesting, too.“ Cas agreed with a polite smile, still not sure if he should be grateful that Dean didn’t attend his class or not.

 

It was during the third lesson when it happened. Cas was analyzing the figure of Uriah Heep with the students. It was a strong burning pain in his hand that made it difficult for him to concentrate. He looked at the aching area but could not see anything unusual at first. What the hell was that? When the pain didn’t stop even after a few minutes, he looked again. And that's when he realized it. His soulmate tattoo was about to disappear. Oh my god! His soulmate tattoo was about to disappear!

No! Please no!! Soulmate tattoos didn't just disappear. Not even when the soulmate died. In this case, at best, it began to fade. This had to mean his soulmate was removing it right now. Oh, God!

He felt nauseous. How would he make it through the rest of the lesson? And how could he survive a life knowing that his soulmate didn't want him? A thousand questions raced through his head. Why didn't his soulmate want him? Did they just get the tattoo and decide they didn't want a mate? Did they know him and that's why they didn't want him? Did they know he was married and was that the dealbreaker? Was it Dean?

„Mr Novak, are you all right? You look pale.“ Charlie Bradbury, one of his students asked.

“I… I feel a little bit sick… I think I will … I need you all to be quiet while I am gone. Open your book on page thirty-two and follow the orders on number four.”

Castiel left the classroom immediately. He all but run to the restroom for teachers to throw up. Afterwards, he felt a little bit better but he was shaking all over. With wobbly knees, he went to the office of principal Harvelle and knocked at the door.

“Come in,” she said.

“Mrs Harvelle I…”

“Oh Jesus! Mr Novak, you look terrible. Are you ill?”

“Yes, I think so… I…”

“Okay. You go home immediately and I will send Mr Crowley to replace you for now. Do you need me to call a cab?”

“No, thank you. I think I can drive.” Cas replied relieved to go home.

 

He hoped that no one would be at home and he could sneak into his room without anyone noticing, but unfortunately Mary Winchester was unpacking groceries in the kitchen.

"Mr Novak! Everything all right? It's not even midday! Why aren’t you at work?" She asked anxiously.

As if she would care.

He didn't know if she had a seventh sense or something, but she immediately stared at his hand and saw that his soulmate tattoo was gone.

„Oh my god! What happened? Did you remove it?“

He was powerless against the tears which burned in his eyes.

“No… I … no, but my soulmate did.” A sob escaped his throat.

“Jesus, Mr Novak. Come to sit down in the kitchen with me. You should get you a glass of water or do you want a cup of coffee?”

“Yes, water would be great. Thank you, Mrs Winchester.”

Castiel sat down and rested his head on his hands.

Mary put a glass of water on the table in front of Castiel.

“Mr Novak I hope you don’t mind me asking, but why do you care so much. You decided to live without your soulmate anyway. You are married.”

“I never decided to live without my soulmate, Mrs Winchester. I always wanted to meet them… I still do…” Castiel's last words were nothing more than a whisper.

“But…” Mary was confused.

“I haven’t been honest with you. Listen, I married my best friend. She was Canadian but her parents moved to the USA when she was in high school. There we met. Her biggest wish was to work for the American Archeology Team. But you have to be a citizen of the US to work there…”

“… therefore you married her so she was able to become…”

“Yes, but this is against the law. And so I had to lie…”

“Oh God, Mr Novak. Didn’t you imagine how hurt your soulmate would be thinking you didn’t want him?”

“…but I… I always thought I could explain it to them if I found them… Meg and I agreed to have a divorce if one of us finds their Soulmate… I didn’t think I wouldn’t have a chance to explain…”

Castiel was crying now. “I never wanted to hurt someone, I only wanted to help Meg…”

“Oh, I am so sorry…”

“Thank you, Mrs Winchester, for listening to my sad story and for the water. Please don’t tell anybody. What I did is still not legal.”

“I will keep your secret Mr Novak. I promise.”

“Thank you. I think I will go upstairs now. I need time to think…”

 

 

 

 


	5. Chapter 5

**_January 24th_ **

  
  
When Dean drove back from Lawrence, he was actually very pleased with himself. Mr Novak would never find out they were soulmates. Problem solved.

On the radio they played Lynyrd Skynyrd - I Ain't the One. How well fitting this was. Dean wasn't the ONE for Mr Novak anymore either.

At the very back of his heart there was still this little voice screaming desperately and unwilling to admit that there would be no future together with his soulmate. Never! No matter how much he wished for it. He resolutely suppressed that annoying voice. He did the right thing! After all, he didn't want Mr Novak to ever figure it out. Dean didn't want the sorry and compassionate way his soulmate would surely look at him. He didn't need his pity! And he didn't need a soulmate! Dean Winchester was able to live alone. Thank you very much! To be perfectly honest, he always thought he would be alone. There would be One Night Stands but no relationships? No!’+  
  
And anyway. Dean was not only too young for Mr Novak, the man was definitely too old for him! What should they have in common? Probably the teacher was right if he thought he wanted an equal partner. Dean had never spoken more than a few sentences to the man, but of course, this could never have gone well, even if the teacher hadn't been married. It was good that Dean had taken that step! He knew that it was shockingly radical but it was the right thing to do in this situation. In a few months, Mr Novak would disappear from his life and they would probably never see each other again. He swallowed the panic that grew inside him at that thought.

It was only twelve o’clock, so he decided to go to school for the rest of the day. At least he would start with his lunch break and in the afternoon he had calculation and sports. Both subjects he liked. So it was a really good day, the best in ages. And hell, it was his birthday.

In a good mood, he stopped at the parking lot in front of the school building and went directly to the cafeteria to look for Charlie.

"Hey, where have you been this morning? I haven't seen you in chemistry." She welcomed him right away.

"I was in Lawrence and. . . "

"My god, Dean! Please tell me you didn't remove the tattoo." Terrified, she looked at him.

"Yes, I did. And I have a new tattoo." He proudly tugged at the neckline of his T-shirt to show her his self-created tattoo.

"Fuck! That's why Mr Novak almost collapsed in class today. "

"What do you mean?" 

"It was during the English lesson. He suddenly became completely pale and looked at his hand in disbelief. After that, he left in the middle of class and a short time later Mr Crowley came and told us that Mr Novak got sick. Oh, God, Dean. You should have seen his face. I felt so sorry for him. Are you sure that this wasn't a mistake? You know I love you and I'll support you in everything you do, but right now I'm not sure if you hadn't just got Mr Novak wrong. "

"Jesus, Charlie! What are you talking about? Of course, I didn't misunderstand him. What's there to misinterpret? The man is married!" Dean realized he got angry. He didn't want to feel guilty or have doubts.

"Whatever you say," Charlie answered. Dean knew she wasn't convinced.

Had he really overreacted?

No! Mr Novak didn't want a soulmate. He made it very clear. So the man wouldn't get one either.

For the rest of the day, he tried to stop thinking about the whole story. He did all right, at least until he got home.

There his mother was already waiting for him with a serious face.

„Hello, Dean.“ Oh, she called him Dean on his birthday and not sweetheart. Did she know? Fuck! She would kill him!

“Hey, mom.” Dean tried to sound as normal as possible.

„Dean, did you get your tattoo today. You were born at midday, so it must be there already.“ She asked.

Oh God, she knew!

“Yeah, I… I got the tattoo.”

“Do you mind showing me?” She asked.

Fuck, she would know right away that the tattoo was fake. It was still a bit red on the edge. Rovena, the tattoo artist took a knew ink so it wouldn’t be too red afterwards, but still…

All Dean was able to do when he lifted the t-shirt was to pray.

She let out the breath in relief.

“Thank God, it’s not you. I was so sure you…”

“You were sure about what?” Dean asked even though he knew what she wanted to say. Why did she always look through him?

“I thought you were Mr Novak's soulmate, sweetheart. And I am so glad that you are not. Something really bad happened to the poor man today and I am really grateful you are not the reason for his suffering.”

Poor Guy? Suffering? What the hell was she talking about? His mother didn’t even like the guy. Mr Novak was married. MARRIED! So why the fuck should she care?

“I don’t understand,” Dean said.

“His soulmate removed the tattoo and he is so sad, desperate even.”

What the fuck was this supposed to mean? Mr Novak made it very clear that he preferred another way of life. Without his soulmate but with his wife.

“But…”

“I know, I was surprised too. I thought he wouldn’t care. But he does. He wants to meet his soulmate and now he is so down this is never going to happen because his soulmate doesn’t want him. I feel really bad that I didn’t treat him better.” Mary sighed.

“But Mom, he is married…” Dean whispered. A cold shiver ran down his spine.

No, this couldn’t be true! Was Charlie really right? Did he overreact? No! He didn’t. The guy said he didn’t want to be with his soulmate. Okay, that were not the exact words but the meaning was clear.

“Yeah, he is. I can’t tell you the details because I promised him not to tell anybody but I know now he is a good guy. He had his reasons for marrying. And his reasons were very selfless. And he is still waiting for his Soulmate.” Mary tried to explain.

Fuck! No! This couldn’t be true! How could he have misread the situation so bad?

“You mean he didn’t want to reject them?” Dean’s heart was beating very fast now. This was a nightmare. What had he done?


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you enjoy reading ^.^

**_January 24th_ **

 

Castiel had to force himself to go downstairs for dinner with the Winchesters. Actually, he didn't feel like he wanted to have company. But Dean was celebrating his eighteenth birthday today and it seemed to be rude not to go downstairs to wish him good luck. At least he should be there for dinner. Afterwards, he would excuse himself very quickly. With a deep sigh, he changed his comfortable sweatpants into jeans and went downstairs. He even had a small birthday present for Dean. It's no big deal. Just a book. Something he enjoyed reading a few years ago. He recognized that Dean was reading some science fiction short stories from Kurt Vonnegut and he hoped Dean would like >Fables for Robots< from Stanislaw Lem as well. When he entered the dining room, Mary gave him a warm welcome. It was unusual to be treated so kindly by her. Not that she wasn't polite before their conversation this morning, but it was still something different when she smiled at him now.

"Mr Novak, I'm glad you came down too. Please take a seat. "

Cas tried to smile back.

"If everyone's here, we can celebrate Dean's birthday. "

They were all sitting around the kitchen table. Mr Winchester, Sam, Charlie Bradbury, whom Cas knew from his English literature class and of course Dean himself.

They all welcomed him as well. Cas didn't know if he should give Dean his present right away, but the decision was taken when Mary took the small package from his hands and put it on the sideboard where she already placed the other gifts.

Castiel sat down on the free chair next to Sam.

"Are you feeling better, Mr Novak?" Charlie wanted to know. She looked concerned.

"Ahem. . . yes. . . . thank you. " Cas replied. Of course, it was a lie. He didn't feel any better. Okay, he wasn't feeling sick anymore, but he felt so empty inside and even next to all these people he felt alone.

He noticed Dean didn't look happy at all. He also avoided looking directly at Castiel. Was it possible that Dean was really his soulmate? Okay, maybe the idea was a little far-fetched since there was no evidence for his theory. It was just a feeling, but he felt new hope sprouting in him. If it really was Dean, he might have a chance to talk to him. Maybe it was all just a misunderstanding. Dean was only eighteen. It might be possible that he just overreacted. If the boy really was his soulmate, the fact that Cas was married must have hurt him. Gabriel might have been right. Maybe it wasn't the best idea to marry Meg. But he had never thought of the possibility that his soulmate wouldn't talk to him, that he would act so drastic. He had expected to be confronted by them about the fact that he was married and he thought that there would be a chance to explain.  It was almost funny. Cas was always an A grade student, but he wasn't smart enough to imagine that his soulmate could be so hurt that he wouldn't even give him a chance to explain. Why had he never considered this possibility?

 

Mary served the food. There were bacon cheeseburgers, salad and french fries.

"I know this isn't the healthiest meal, but it's Dean's favourite " Marry said apologetically when she served the food.

 "So, enjoy your meal!" she said. Castiel felt bad that her cheerfulness got a little bit on his nerves. Of course, Mary was in a good mood! Her eldest son was celebrating his eighteen birthday. She must have been so proud..

The burger tasted incredibly good and Castiel recognized that he was hungry. However, he still couldn't get himself to eat the second one. Dean didn't seem to have much appetite either. Shouldn’t a young man his age be hungry like a wolf? Charlie and Sam, on the other side, ate like horses. They were nearly fighting over the salad and the fries.

"Did you get your mark today, Dean?" Sam suddenly asked with his mouth full.

Charlie looked alarmed at Dean, who was nervously poking around in his food.

"Um. . . "

Mary answered for her son. 

"Yes, he did. Don't you want to show them, honey? " She said enthusiastically. Castiel sensed how proud she was. Maybe she was even relieved that her son got the mark.

Dean, on the other hand, seemed to be visibly uncomfortable, but still, he pulled his shirt a little to the side and showed his brand new tattoo. It showed a sun symbol with a pentagram in the middle. It was pretty. Pretty. . . and. . . unfortunately as far away from white wings as it could be. Damn it! This shouldn't bother him so much. Somewhere out there was someone looking forward to getting a soulmate like Dean Winchester. Someone whose life wasn't complicated, who wasn't a high school teacher on their school, who wasn't much older. Probably a pretty girl. Oh, God, he had to stop thinking things like that! This didn’t help at all. Dean Winchester wasn't his soulmate! He wasn’t and he never would be…And his own soulmate had erased him from his life. These were the facts. He had to deal with the sad truth.

"I... I think I'll go back up to my room. Thank you for the delicious food. And happy birthday, Dean. "

He tried to get up, but Mary held him back.

"Please wait, Mr Novak. Don’t you want to give Dean his present yourself? " She asked.

Cas nodded, got the little package and handed it to Dean. Okay, he could do this. He was able to act like a normal person for a few minutes longer.

"Happy birthday. It's just a very small gift. Since you're reading Vonnegut, I thought you might be interested in Stanislav Lem." Cas shrugged his shoulders.

He saw that Dean had to swallow.

"Thank . . . thank you, that's very thoughtful. . . . "

Why couldn't Dean look him in the eye? It was like he was ashamed. But why? There was no reason. Or maybe… Mabey Mary had told him about what happened to his tattoo and Dean felt sad for him. He was pitying him. Jesus! This was even worse. He had to get upstairs quickly.

"You're welcome. I hope you enjoy reading it. I bid you all good night. And once again thank you for dinner " Cas even managed to smile before he left the kitchen and went back up to his room. It was a relief not to have to pretend anymore. He checked his phone and noticed that Meg had called three times, so he called her back immediately. 

"Hey, Clarence! I've tried calling you a few times. I have something really funny to tell you. "

"Hey, Meg. What’s up? "  It was good to hear her voice.

"Well, you won't believe it, but I met my soulmate. Can you imagine that? Here in Greece. His name is Lucifer. He and his brother Michael are here on a vacation. Last night I was in this bar with my colleagues and I literally stumbled across him. Can you imagine my surprise when I found the demon tattoo on his neck? It's so incredible. He's American. Do you understand what this means? We can get a divorce. You can keep waiting for your soulmate. Without the annoying ring on your finger. Isn't that fabulous?"


	7. Chapter 7

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry, this update took such a long time. I hope you like this chapter anyway ^.^

**_January 25th_ **

 

"Dean, you have to tell him. The man is completely broken. Can't you see that?" Charlie was really upset. It was afternoon and Dean and Charlie were in his room. He had never seen his best friend so upset. But he knew she was right. Mr Novak looked really unhappy. About as unhappy as he felt when he found out that his soulmate was married.

"I know it was a mistake, Charlie!" he said crunched. 

"Oh...You do? Where did the change of heart come from?  " She was clearly surprised at his new point of view.

Dean sighed deeply.

"Mom told me today that Mr Novak never planned to reject his soulmate. He didn't tell me the details because she promised him not to tell anybody, but she was sure he wants to be with his soulmate. Damn it! What am I supposed to do now?"

Dean sat down on his bed and desperately drove his hand through his hair.  He might have had a chance if he hadn't reacted so incredibly stupid. But now?

"What you should have done from the beginning. Talk to him for fuck's sake. "

"Oh, God, Charlie. He must think I'm a bloody immature teenager. The way I've been acting. " Dean moaned.

"Well, he wouldn't be so wrong, Dean. " Charlie said unkindly.

"Not helpful! You're supposed to be my mental support and not drag me down ... After all, you're my best friend. Listen Chalie, I can't just knock on his door and tell him that I'm his soulmate. Of course, he would kick me out. I removed our soulmate tattoo. Fuck! I would if I was him. I feel so stupid. But I have to do something. " 

"I might have an idea. " Charlie said after a while.

"Do you feel like coming to Lawrence with me tomorrow?"

"You want me to skip school again?" Dean wanted to know, frowning at his friend.

"Yes. I want us to go to the tattoo shop again. You took a picture of the tattoo, didn’t you?. Maybe the woman who removed it is able to get you the tattoo again. What do you mean? If it disappeared at Mr Novak's hand when you had it removed, it should appear again when you get a new one, shouldn't it?”

"Hmm. That's not a bad idea. It's worth a try, I guess. "Dean said feeling a little bit relieved that at least he had a plan.

Unfortunately, the next day it turned out that it wasn’t that easy. Of course, it wasn’t. Why did he even think about this possibility for one second?

Dean had picked Charlie up in the morning and together they drove to Lawrence. Rowena didn't seem very surprised to see Dean again so soon.

She greeted him with a knowing smile.

"Let me guess, you changed your mind, and you want the tattoo back. "

"Is it possible?" Charlie asked before Dean was even able to open his mouth.

"Yes and no. Of course, I am able to get you the tattoo again, but if you think that it will automatically reappear on your soulmate's body, then you haven't really understood the whole soulmate tattoo thing. " The women explained.

What was that supposed to mean?

"What does that mean exactly? Is there a way to get the tattoo back or not?" Dean wanted to know impatiently. 

"Okay, guys. Apparently, no one taught you anything about the important stuff at high school. So I'll start all over again. Soulmarks are meant to find your partner. The only way to know for sure if you have found your soulmate is when the body parts were the tattoos are located are touching.  If it is not the right partner, then you will feel nothing, nada. But if the other person is your soulmate, then… kaboom. A firework will explode.  The tattoo only helps you to identify the right person and the place you have to touch. But it will work even without the mark. So if you know who your soulmate is and where his mark is located you only have to touch them at the right place. ".

"What does that mean for Dean?" 

"That means that I can get him the tattoo but it won't come back on his soulmates body. It also means that his soulmate probably won't see his new tattoo because it's on a rather delicate place. But it also means that this person is still his soulmate. With or without the tattoo. The mark is only a sign, not the real magic. " 

"Fuck! Why don't we learn these things at school? " Dean cursed.

Rowena shrugged her shoulders.

"I'm sure we learned about all of this in biology, but we didn’t pay enough attention. And who's thinking about getting the tattoo removed anyway. . . " Charlie shook her head like she still couldn't believe Dean really did it.

Rowena laughed. "I would suggest you either talk to your soulmate or live without them. " She said unimpressed.

Charlie gave him one of those > didn't I tell you < \- looks. Dean swallowed. That was actually exactly what he wanted to avoid. If the tattoo had suddenly reappeared on Mr Novak’s hand, he would have had a different starting position. He would have made up for the damage. At least a little bit. Damn it! Why had he acted so hastily? He remembered what Cas said about having a younger soulmate when they first met.

_> I want an equal partner, not a child.<_

If it wasn't so sad, Dean would have laughed. Dean had made it very clear how right the English teacher was. He was anything but an equal partner. He had behaved like a stubborn child and that's exactly how Castiel would perceive him - as a child. Of course, he wouldn’t want him. How could he? Fuck! He had ruined everything!

"Could you… could you still get me the tattoo?" Dean asked.

Maybe it was childish. It was definitely sappy. But Dean couldn’t care less. The possibility that Mr Novak didn't want Dean to be part of his life even if they were soulmates was damn high and he at least wanted a memory of his soulmate. Even if the tattoo would always remind him of the biggest mistake he ever made.

Rowena looked at him in surprise. "Yeah, sure. Why not. "

Dean nodded. Of course, it wasn't what he had hoped for, but it was all he could do for now.

Charlie smiled at him. Dean was sure she knew what was spinning around in his head. She always did.

“You will talk to him today, won’t you?” she asked straight forward.

“I…”

“Dean! Not talking to your soulmate was the reason why all of this happened, remember? If you don’t talk to him until the end of the week, I will.”

“Charlie, you can’t…”

“Don’t Charlie me! I am dead serious! You talk to the man or I will. It’s your choice.”

Dean knew she would do it without batting an eye.

 

 "You realize this won't be cheap. The tattoo is small but very detailed." Roweena interrupted their little argument to warn him.

"Yes, I am aware . . . "

Dean knew he'd have to spend his savings to pay for the tattoo. Actually, he wanted to use the money for new tires. But that would have to wait. Maybe he could do some extra shifts at the garage.

"Okay, so let’s start. You should get your pants off. . . "  The red-haired women suggested and winked at him.


	8. Chapter 8

_**February 1st** _

 

The next days flew by. Somehow it felt a little like they were blurring into each other. Cas was aware that it was mainly because of the fact that he wasn’t waiting any longer. There was nothing to wait for. No expectations any more. Nothing! He had never noticed how much he had waited for his soulmate- to be a part of his life, to complete him. Actually, he was waiting like forever. He could remember all too well when the wings appeared on his wrist on his eighteenth birthday. He was so happy. Happy and excited. How many hours had he tried to imagine how his soulmate would look and be like. The tattoo was so beautiful and Cas was always convinced that his soulmate would be beautiful as well, inside and out. Cas knew his soulmate would be a good person. Someone who cared for the ones he loved.  He also knew it would certainly be a man. Already at the age of thirteen, he had noticed that he felt more attracted to boys. All those years, it had given him comfort to just look at the tattoo when he was down. He liked to follow the delicate lines with his finger and the knowledge that someone was waiting for him was reassuring. At least there would be someone who would care about him. Someone who would love him the way he was.

An awkward nerd who enjoyed hanging out alone in a library more than to socialize with others. Someone who didn't mind that sometimes he just preferred the silence. And now this reassurance was gone. Not even a scar reminded of the pretty wings. Like they had never been there. There wouldn’t be anyone who really belonged to him. He would be one of those poor souls who had to go through life without a soulmate.  Since his eighteenth birthday, the hope of a life with his soulmate had helped him through many things. Even if he would have met his soulmate at the age of eighty, there had always been hope that someone was out there who wanted him, because of the tattoo. But now he had the certainty that no one wanted him. Not even the man who was destined for him. He knew it was ridiculous. Somehow he should have expected it. Nobody was meant for Castiel Novak! His mother had already prophesied this to him when he was only fourteen.

 _"Castiel, nobody wants a partner who is just hiding out in their room or in the library. If you don't change completely, you're gonna be alone forever. But maybe that's exactly what you want. Maybe you don’t want a partner."_ She always said.

Was she right? Was this what he wanted? To be alone? Without a soulmate? Was it just the idea of a partner that he liked? Until he met Dean Winchester, he couldn't have answered that question with certainty. But now. Now he was sure that he wanted a real partner. And if he was honest with himself, he had hoped from the first moment that it would be Dean. Well, maybe that hope was futile and even morally questionable. After all, Dean was a student and he was a teacher. Even if he wasn’t Dean’s teacher and the boy was already eighteen, it didn't change the fact.

"Good morning, Mr Novak. Do you want a cup of coffee and some scrambled eggs?" Mr Winchester asked him. Castiel always liked it when John made breakfast and not his wife. At first, he felt uncomfortable in her presence because she was very cold towards him and now he could not bear her compassionate look. John Winchester acted the same as always. He was friendly and companionable.

"Yes, thank you very much." Cas answered and sat down at the table. Even though Mr Winchester was in a wheelchair, he took care of cooking and other household chores. Castiel thought it was admirable that he didn’t give up.

"Did the boys leave already?" Cas wanted to know. Most of the time they had breakfast together.

"Yeah, Dean was taking Mary to Bobby's garage to pick up our car. A few days ago, the car suddenly broke. But thank God Bobby was able to fix it. We really wouldn't  have any money for a new one right now." John explained.

Castiel nodded understandingly. He could imagine how difficult their financial situation was. Of course, he knew that this was the reason why they rented the room.

 

The morning at school was mostly uneventful. He saw Dean a few times in the hallway, but the kid avoided looking at him. In general, Cas had the feeling that he was avoiding him. An awful thought crossed his mind. What if Dean had noticed that Cas had a little crush on him? Jesus Christ, that would be terrible! Dean would probably be completely disgusted by the idea and therefore he wasn’t able to look him in the eye. Oh god! He should find another place to stay. But he couldn't do that to the Winchesters. He knew they depended on his money. Damn it! Cas decided on having dinner at the pizzeria a few streets away more often to avoid Dean.

In the last hour before lunch, Charlie Bradbury unexpectedly visited him in class. He was in the process of doing some work because he had no more lessons this morning.

"Mrs Bradbury! What can I do for you?" Cas asked curiously.

She presented him a red portfolio.

"Would you please read this?" she asked.

"What's that?" Cas was confused.

"An essay. Please, it's really important." He could see how serious she was.

"Okay. I have to finish correcting these book interpretations here, and then I meet Mrs Johnsen for lunch, but I can read it tonight. Do you want me to correct mistakes?"

“No, just read it. I am sure you will understand the reason why I gave it to you.” She replied.  
“Okay… I have to admit that I am curious now. I promise to read it tonight, Mrs Bradbury.”

Charlie nodded with relief and smiled at him.

"Good! Thank you, Mr Novak. Have a nice day." She said and left without another word.

What was that? Why was it so important to her that he would read the essay? Maybe it was something for College or some extra work she had written for his English Literatur class. On the other hand, she didn’t want him to correct it… This was strange. But even if he was curious he had to finish his work at first. So he put the red portfolio in his bag so he wouldn't forget it. Then he got back to work. Whatever Mrs Bradbury thought was so important, it had to wait.


	9. Chapter 9

_**January 29th** _

 

Dean knew he was getting a little bit tipsy. Maybe he should take it a little slower. But on the other hand, it was his birthday party. No one would expect him to stay sober.

So he grabbed another beer from Charlie's kitchen and went back to the living room. Actually, Charlie had promised to invite just a few friends, but the living room was stuffed with people. He didn't even know them all. Although he knew most of them at least from sight. But to be honest, Dean didn't care. He wasn’t  in the mood to party anyway. Maybe it was a good thing there were so many people at the party because it was easier to go unnoticed in the crowd. He could hardly muster the nerve for small talk at the moment. Not to mention any kind of conversation with Charlie.

So he just leaned against the wall, drank one beer after another and watched the crowd. It was just before midnight and so far he had managed to stay in the background surprisingly well. Especially considering it was his birthday party.

But of course, he had been cheering too early, because when he looked up, he saw Bela approaching.

"Hey, Dean. What's the matter with you? You're not exactly a party animal tonight. Maybe I know something to cheer you up... "The pretty girl looked at him expectantly. Just a few weeks ago, he would have loved to accept her offer.

 "I know you probably just got your soulmate tattoo. But it might be years before you meet them. And. . . . They'll never know. So why shouldn't you have a little fun? After all, it's your birthday party. "

Wantonly she drove her hand under his T-shirt and touched his belly.

Everything in Dean rebelled against the touch He didn't want her to touch him. Not like this. He had decided not to tell Mr Novak that they were soulmates right now, but that didn't mean he would cheat on him.

"Sorry, Bela. I am not in the right mood tonight. " He apologized and pushed her hand away.

>Christ! I need some fresh air< he thought and crossed the room towards the terrace, leaving a completely surprised Bela behind.

It was cool outside and Dean was only wearing a T-shirt, but it was pleasant to escape the noise and stuffy air for a few minutes.

Suddenly he felt a hand on his shoulder.

"Hey Dean, are you all right?" It was Charlie who looked at him with worry in her eyes.

"I'm sorry, Charlie. I know it was a big deal to throw this party and I'm really grateful but. . . "

". . . but your thoughts are with your soulmate. I know Dean and I understand. When are you planning on talking to him, Dean? It's Friday today. You know I said I would give you time until Sunday, then I'll take care of it. "

"I've… I decided not to say anything for now. "

"What? Dean, you promised me. "

"No! I didn't promise anything. You threatened me. That's something completely different. "

"Dean, you have to tell him. Mr Novak looks so sad. . . "

Dean wasn’t able to stifle an unhappy laugh.

". . . and you think he'll be happier if he knows who his soulmate is?"

"Yes, I do. "

"Come on, Charlie. The man's far better off without an overreacting teenager. I'll tell him. I promise. Someday. But not now. I'll try to get my shit together first, finish college and . . . "

"Oh, my God, Dean. Have you gone completely insane? The man needs you now, not in four or five years. "

"I'm sorry, but my decision has been made. I want to give him more.time . . If you say anything, I'll just deny it. There are no matching tattoos to prove it.”

“Oh, of course, there is because you got the white wings again. Exactly on the same part of your body, Dean.”

“Do you think he'll insist that I take my pants off so he can check if you are telling the truth? I don't think so. Charlie, I know you mean well, but it's my choice.„

Shocked Charlie looked at her best friend.

"Dean Winchester! You know I love you, but sometimes  you are the most obnoxious and  stupid person I know and I can't bear to even look at you right now!"

Angry she turned around and went back into the house. Dean sighed deeply. He knew she was mad at him now. Damn it!  He felt like the biggest and ungrateful asshole when he went back into the house, grabbed his jacket and left the party.

But all those happy people made him sick.

<3     <3     <3     <3     <3      <3     <3

 

It was three days later. Dean was in his room and tormented himself with his homework for his writing class. However, the headline for the essay drove him mad.

Soulmates, curse or blessing?

 

What the hell was he gonna write? It was almost funny. He should write about Soulmates. The first part wasn't a problem. He described the historical and scientific facts known about the phenomenon. The problem was the second part, which was about his personal experience or his opinion. And there was the crux of the matter. He had actually finished the whole essay, but the second part was too personal. Mrs Johnson would know right away who he was writing about. So he had to rewrite it. But he didn't know how. He only knew he had to change it.

He took the sheet with the second part of the essay and crumpled it. Just when he was about to throw it in the trash, there was a knock on the door.

"Come in" he shouted.

Charlie opened the door. She hadn't spoken a word to him since the party, although he had apologized to her a hundred times. But who could blame her? It was a dick move to leave his own party.

"Hi"

"Hey, Charlie," there was nothing he could do about his voice sounding surprised and hopeful.

Without warning, she crossed the room and hugged him.

"I'm sorry, Dean. You're right. You're right. It's none of my business, really. I totally forgot about how fucked up you must feel "

It was good to hug her. It was also good that she knew about this fucking shitstory so he didn't have to pretend with her. And he was more than relieved that she wasn't mad at him anymore.

"I'm so sorry Charlie. . . " Dean said and squeezed her harder, the crumbled essay still in one hand.

"What’s this?" Charlie wanted to know when they broke apart.

"Oh, that's just my homework. We have to write an essay about soulmates. The personal part is. . . . It's too personal. Not exactly the subject I want to write about right now. " Dean showed her the headline and then he threw crumpled paper into the bucket under his desk.

"Oh! I see." was her only reaction.

Charlie stayed until the evening and even helped him with the essay. Sometime in between, he got them cookies and milk and in the evening they ordered pizza and looked a few episodes Brooklyn 99 on Netflix. It was good to hang out with Charlie.  In fact, Dean was so happy that she wasn't mad at him anymore, he didn't even notice that the crumpled paper ball had disappeared from his trash.

 

 


	10. Chapter 10

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here we go with our soulmates. I hope you enjoy ^.^

_**February 1st** _

 

Exhausted Castiel crushed on his bed. He was all knocked out and was just happy that he could finally close his eyes. He didn't even want to continue reading his book tonight. Tired, he reached for the light switch of the bedside lamp and wanted to turn it off when his eyes fell on the red folder in his open bag. Fuck! He'd forgotten all about that. He promised Mrs Bradbury he'd read the paper. For a brief moment he thought about reading it through quickly the next morning, but then he decided against it. With a deep sigh, he rose again and went back to the desk. Reluctantly Cas fished the portfolio out of the bag. He could only hope that the essay wasn't too long because it was hard for him to keep his eyes open at all, let alone concentrate on a text. But when he saw the front page, he became curious because it didn't reveal anything. It was just an empty white sheet of paper. He turned the page quickly. To his astonishment, he noticed that the next page was crumpled and someone had tried to smoothe it out again. Cas had the feeling that someone pulled it out of a bucket. The next thing he immediately noticed was that this was not Mrs Bradbury's handwriting. He had already read some of her texts and would have recognized her ornate letters immediately. That was odd.

But when he read the first sentences, he knew who wrote the essay.

 

_> I got my soulmate tattoo almost a month before my eighteenth birthday. Suddenly there were two beautiful and very detailed white wings at my tight. Somehow I was completely stunned by the fact that there should be someone in the world who fitted me perfectly. To be honest, I wasn't really expecting it. What surprised me even more, though, was the excitement that spread through me. I began to take a close look at every person who appeared new in my life. Hoping to find the white wings somewhere. I didn't have to wait long. My soulmate arrived four days later in my life. It was our new lodger. Of course, all the clichés that I had always smiled at in the movies my mother loved to watch were true. I was immediately attracted to him. Even before I even discovered the tattoo on the back of his hand. It was crazy and exciting and unfortunately also impossible because not even five minutes later I found out that he was married. . . <_

Oh, my God! Oh, my God! Dean! The essay was from Dean and the boy was. . . he was his soulmate! Dean Winchester was his soulmate! Cas had to suppress the impulse to immediately run downstairs and confront Dean with the fact. He took a deep breath and forced himself to read on. It tore his heart to pieces when he learned how Dean decided to have the tattoo removed to eliminate his married soulmate from his life when he got another tattoo to fool everyone.

When he read how Dean realized that he had made a mistake and wanted the tattoo back. But what almost made Cas lose his mind were the last sentences of the essay:

_> In retrospect, it's probably not so bad that everything turned out this way, even if it hurts. My Soulmate is beautiful and kind and incredibly smart. He's compassionate and the most caring person I know. Why would he even want an immature teenager like me?  
_ _I'm sure he would never come up with the idea on his own that someone like me could be his soulmate. How could he? And that's why I decided not to tell him. At least not for now. Who knows, maybe I'll grow into a worthy partner. Maybe someday I can tell him the truth. But I can't right now. I could not bear the disappointed expression in his eyes when he learns that it is only me. <_

Cas's tiredness was forgotten. Was Dean crazy? How could he dare to keep this information from him? Cas felt anger boil up in him.

Determined, he walked downstairs and knocked on Dean's door. He was too impatient to wait for an answer and so he just went into the room. Dean was sitting on his bed already in his pyjamas.  Surprised he jumped off the bed.

“Mr Novak!”

 Cas was angrily throwing the essay in front of the boy's feet.

Dean's gaze was at first still confused, but soon Cas recognized that he understood. Knowledge and fear were shown on his face.

"Mr Novak, I... I am so sorry, I didn't. . . "

Cas wanted to say so much, he wanted to yell at him, he wanted to shake him. How could Dean believe he didn't want him? But when he saw Dean's big eyes looking at him like he was waiting for rejection all the words were blown away. His soulmate looked at him so desperate and helpless that it really hurt him.

With quick steps, Cas crossed the room and grabbed Dean's T-shirt to pull him closer. Then he smashed her lips together.

Oh God! Finally! Finally, he was allowed to taste this warm and soft lips.

Dean let out a surprised sound and stood still at first but Cas didn't let that mislead him. Hungry he licked Dean's lower lip and drew the boy even closer. After a few seconds, Dean seemed to have recovered from his surprise. Cas felt one of Dean’s hands running through his hair. The other hand clung to Cas’ shoulder like the boy never wanted to let him go again. With a moan, he turned his head a little to the side and opened his mouth to let Cas in.

Instantly Cas deepened the kiss as his hands began to slip under Dean's T-shirt.

Jesus Christ! It was exactly like Cas had imagined it. His heart was beating so fast and when he touched Dean's chest he felt that his heart raced as well. Even without their soulmate tattoos touching and their bond forming, he felt how strong the connection between them was. It seemed like the kiss lasted for hours but suddenly they heard someone clearing his throat.

"Do you mind telling me what's going on?" Cas hadn't closed Dean's door and now Mr Winchester was sitting right in front of the room in his wheelchair looking at them curiously and also expectantly. 

"Mr Winchester, I'm sorry, I didn't mean. . . " Cas sensed he was blushing.

"Dad, Mr Novak and I are soulmates. " Dean explained quickly without letting go of Cas. His hand still clung to Cas's shoulder.

Mr Winchester raised an eyebrow.

"This, however, is an interesting turn of events. " He said.

"Dad, it's a long story. "

"I have time. "

With a sigh, Dean began to tell the story. Mr Winchester listened attentively. When Dean finished telling their story, he looked at Cas.

"And what do you think Mr Novak?" Dean’s Dad asked.

Cas cleared his throat. 

"I... I was hoping from the first second that Dean would be my Soulmate. And. . . and to be honest, losing the tattoo was bad, really bad. But believing it wasn't Dean was worse. I... " Cas swallowed hard.

He felt Dean's fingers crossing with his own. It was so good to finally tell the truth.

Mr Winchester nodded approvingly.

"That's good. I see a problem, though. "

On alert, Cas and Dean looked at Mr Winchester.

“Problem?”

"Yes, With Dean removing the tattoo, you can't prove you're soulmates anymore. I'm sure it's no problem between you two. Especially since the bond will be formed by touching the right spots. But you can't prove all that because only you feel it. The only evidence would have been the tattoos. Even if you would go to a tattoo shop and get another tattoo. Every expert would immediately realize they're not real. " 

"What are you saying?" Cas wanted to know though he could imagine what Mr Winchester was getting at.

"You have to wait until Dean finishes high school. I am sorry. "

Cas knew Dean's father was right.

"No! I don't want this! Now that we've finally found each other, I don't want to wait another four months. Dad, please!" Dean begged.

"Dean, it's not about me. But not only would Mr Novak lose his job, but he could also get into serious trouble if someone finds out he has an affair with a student. "  Mr Winchester explained.

"But we're soulmates. . . " 

"Which we can't prove, Dean. As hard as it is, your father's right. We have to wait. "

"I'll leave you alone for a few minutes and try to tell your mother about this story. "

When Mr Winchester was out of sight and Cas had closed the door, he heard Dean swearing.

"Damn it! You must hate me. I destroyed everything! Fuck!"

"Dean! Of course, I don't hate you! I love you!  Four months isn't eternity. We can do this. "

He took Dean in his arms and pressed him to his chest.

"I don't think I deserve you, Mr Novak. "  Dean muttered.

Cas had to laugh.

"I think when we're alone, you should call me Cas. Mr Novak is a little formal, don't you think?"

Dean nodded. Tears ran down his cheeks, but he smiled a little bit.

The next months would certainly not be easy, but they would be much better than the last weeks. At least Cas was sure of that.


	11. Chapter 11

_**April 29th** _

Dean had no idea how he was going to survive this anymore. Cas was so fucking reserved and polite. It was unbearable.  At least that's how Dean felt. But his soulmate didn't even try to kiss him once. To be honest, Dean felt more like he was partially avoiding him. Although, of course, that wasn't true. They often sat together in the living room and talked or watched a movie. Or they planned the move to Pontiac together. All in all, Dean had, of course, no reason to complain. They must have been together at least two hours a day. Never alone, though.

Cas seemed to make sure there was always another person in the room. Not once Castiel had tried to approach Dean since their first kiss. Dean was going crazy. Of course, he knew that they had to wait but why couldn't Castiel even take his hand or kiss him sometimes? Wouldn’t this be the normal behaviour for people who were in love? But this was the main problem. Maybe Cas wasn’t in love. Dean, for one, had a hard time holding back. Once he had tried to cuddle a little bit with Cas while they were watching a movie together. But his soulmate had completely turned him down. He almost jumped up and invited Sam to join them. Then he placed himself so far away from Dean that Sam could only sit between them. Since then, Dean had never tried to approach Cas again. To be honest, the incident was not only embarrassing. Castiel's reaction had also hurt him bad.

Right now Dean was with Charlie on his way to their chemistry class. Cas was standing in front of his room with Mrs Johnson. They talked excitedly. Apparently, his English teacher had said something funny because Cas suddenly laughed cheerfully. Dean knew it was childish, but he felt a stab of pain. Jealousy spread inside of him. Cas was his soulmate! He should make him laugh, not Mrs Johnson! Damn it! 

Another whole month! If only Dean had known for sure that Cas was counting the days like he was. But right now, Dean feared that his soulmate didn‘t. Of course, Dean knew he had to blame no one but himself. If he hadn't had the tattoo removed, they would be able to prove the soulmate bond. Cas hadn't even complained about Dean's stupid action. 

 

"Dean, I can hear you think. I'm sure Mrs Johnson will get nightmares from your staring." She said and led him past the teachers and towards their chemistry class. Dean couldn't stop himself from listening to part of the conversation.

". . . Castiel, wouldn't you like to go out with me sometime? It looks like we both don't have much luck with our soulmates. Yours had the tattoo removed and I apparently don't have one, because I never had a tattoo. So why shouldn't we . . . "

Dean would have liked to hear what the rest of the conversation, but Charlie pulled him away relentlessly.

"You gotta learn to trust him, Dean." she hissed.

Dean tried and of course, he was aware that he was the cause of all the complications. But it was so fucking hard.

 

The fact that Cas didn't show up for dinner that evening didn't make it any better. Dean's mood was accordingly bad.

"Is everything all right, Dean?" His mum wanted to know.

"Yeah, it's all right, Ma. I'm just tired and not hungry. I think I'll go straight to bed if you don't mind. "

The frown on Mrs Winchester's forehead deepened. "You're not gonna get sick, are you, Dean? You're always hungry." Worried, she felt his forehead.

"You don't seem to have a fever. Maybe you should really go to bed early today. The weeks before graduation can be exhausting," she said compassionately.

Dean nodded.

"Yes, that‘s probably the reason. Good night!"

Half an hour later he was laying in his bed, freshly showered and already in his pyjamas, cursing that he wasn't able to just switch off his brain. Suddenly he heard a soft knock on the door.

"Dean, are you asleep yet?"

It was Cas. Dean's heart started to beat like crazy. Cas never visited him in his room. Not once since their first and only kiss two months ago.

"No, I am not asleep. Come in. "

Cas opened the door and entered the room before quietly closing the door behind him again. Dean sat up. He was afraid of what might come now. What if Cas didn't want him anymore? Of course, someone like his soulmate had other options.

"Your father said you weren't well and that I should check on you. Is something wrong, Dean?"

Suddenly the memory of the last time Cas was in his room filled his brain. The kiss and the confessions. Everything seemed so far away now. Suddenly Dean felt his eyes burn. He stared at his fingers and tried to concentrate. But no matter how hard he tried he wasn’t able to hold the tears back. Quiet they made their way down his cheeks. Fuck! This was more than embarrassing. It was ridiculous. He was ridiculous. Dean felt Cas sit down next to him on the bed.

"Dean! Please tell me what's going on." Cas said. He seemed to be worried and reached for Dean's shoulders. That's when he saw it. The tattoo on Cas's hand. The two white wings were back. With both hands, Dean reached for his soulmate's hand.

"The tattoo. . . it's back. . . " he stammered. 

"Yes, I was in Lawrence today. I was at the same tattoo shop where you were. I had no photo of the tattoo so I hoped the lady there would remember your tattoo. And thank God she did. She said she was wondering when I was gonna show up. "

Dean could only stare at Cas.

"You were in Lawrence? But why now?"

Dean knew there was a logical explanation behind all this, but his brain wasn't capable of putting all the pieces together.

Confused, he looked at Cas.

"Mrs Johnson asked me out tonight. She said that just like her, I don't have anyone. She didn’t know how wrong she was. Because I have you. And even if I am not allowed to tell the world that you are my soulmate I can make it clear that I am taken. So I decided to have the tattoo repainted because I wanted everyone to know I have a soulmate. "

Dean couldn't believe it.

 „You... you still want me?“

"What do you mean by that? Of course, I still want you. Why would you say that?" Cas took Dean's face in his hands and looked at him seriously.

"A few weeks ago, when we were sitting on the couch together and I wanted to cuddle up to you, I didn't get the impression that. . . " Dean couldn't keep looking Cas in the eye. So he closed them, tears still running down his cheeks.

"Dean. . . you. . . you didn't think. . . Oh, my God! Oh, my God! I'm sorry. I'm so sorry. I didn't want to reject you. I never would reject you. It's just… I don't know if I can control myself when you're so close. It's getting harder and harder to keep away from you, but I promised your father. You have no idea what you're doing to me. I can't think of anything else but you, Dean. "

And even before Dean could process what Cas had just said, he felt Cas's lips on his. Cas passionately pulled him closer. While his tongue explored Dean's mouth longingly, his hands found their way under Dean's sleeping t-shirt. Dean heard himself moaning softly and started to explore Cas chest with his hands as well. Dean had no idea how it had happened but within no time he was lying on his bed and Cas was above him. His soulmate was grinding down his hips and Dean could feel Cas erection press against his own. It felt like heaven. Cas wanted him. Fuck! He really wanted him. Against all his fears, his soulmate never wanted to reject him but had to fight just like Dean himself to hold back. As if by itself, Dean's hands found their way to Cas's butt to draw him even closer.

„I want you so bad, Dean. You have no idea...“ Cas said while he sucked Deans' neck.

At that moment, there was a knock on Dean's door. Dean was sure it was his father. It was clear he wouldn't leave them alone for more than a few minutes. Damn it!  He heard Cas sigh.

"I don't know if I can take this another month. " his soulmate whispered.

He reluctantly broke away from Dean and went to open the door.

Mr Winchester looked at them apologetically.

"I'm sorry, but I think it would be better if Mr Novak goes upstairs now. "

With a last longing look at Dean, Cas left the room and Dean was alone again.

His dick didn’t get the program though. He was achingly hard and throbbing. Fuck!

Dean would have no choice but to take care of the problem on his own. But now that he knew his soulmate wanted him too, he had at least enough to think about.

But before he was even back in bed, his phone vibrated.

Actually, he didn't feel like talking to Charlie at all. Still, he grabbed the phone from the nightstand.

"Hello"

"Dean, I... "

It wasn't Charlie. It was Cas!

"Cas! Did something happen?" 

“No.. yes. I…” Cas was stumbling.

Dean was confused and a little alarmed.

"Dean, I can't take this anymore. I need you.  I need you so much. "

Cas' voice sounded desperate.

"Of course, Cas. What do you need? What can I do?"

 “Would… would you touch yourself, Dean? I want… I want to listen to you while….”

Fuck! Did… did Cas really want to…

“Jesus, Cas. You… you mean phone sex?”

“Yes!”

“Oh! Oh… uhm ok. Yeah, I would like that.”

Christ! Was this really happening?

Dean lay down on his bed and rested his cell-phone between his ear and shoulder. He was so hard now. Quickly he removed his pyjamas and grabbed his painfully hard dick. A moan escaped his throat when he pumped his length.

“Are you…? Cas, are you doing the same?” Dean knew his voice sounded wrecked but he was so turned on right now.

“Yes, Dean. I am touching myself as well. I want you so much. God! Dean, you have no idea how hard I tried to keep my feelings for you under control because I promised your Dad not to touch you until you graduate. But I failed. I am not able to stop thinking of you. And I am definitely not able to stop now. I … I want to hear you say my name when you are coming. I want to tell you what I would like to do to you right now…”

“Fuck Cas! Tell me…! Tell me what would you do to me?”

Dean swallowed thickly, eyes shut as he focused on the rasping of Cas’ breath.

“I would touch you everywhere. I would play with your nipples while I kiss your neck and your shoulders. Then my mouth would follow my fingers to your nipples. I would tease them with my tongue and my teeth.”

Holy Shit! Dean was so turned on!

“Yeah! Cas! Please go on!”

“I would kiss your belly and your hips. Then I would spread your legs and suck a bruise on your inner tights.”

Dean gasped! Cas was breathing hard.

“Then my tongue would run over your balls.”

Dean had difficulties to breathe. He was leaking precome and he felt his orgasm built.

“Then I would suck you off, Dean. Oh God! I want your dick in my mouth. I want to taste you.”

Jesus Christ! This would be over very soon if Cas went on like this.

“Cas! Oh fuck. Please. I want your mouth on my dick. I am so fucking hard for you right now.”

Dean’s hand was flying over his dick. Fuck he was so close, so fucking close.

And suddenly there were words coming out of his mouth, he would never have dreamed of saying out loud. “I’d come down your throat, Cas and you would have to swallow it all. ”

“Fuck, Dean. Yes! Come in my mouth. Imagine me kneeling in front of you, looking up at you, your dick deep in my mouth... Fuck Dean! I’m…Dean! Ahh….”

Jesus fucking Christ. This was so hot. Cas was coming to the imagination of sucking him off.  Images of his soulmate naked on his bed, pumping his cock while white stripes of come splatter across his belly and chest flashed up in Deans head. And that’s what sent him over the edge as well.

“Ahh, Cas,… Oh God! Cas… Cas…” Dean tried to muffle his sounds a little bit but he wasn’t sure he did a good job, because his orgasm hit him so hard, it was nearly impossible to do anything else than to repeat his soulmates name.

It took them some time to regain their breaths. Dean would have given a lot to kiss Cas after this mind-blowing orgasm.

“You have no idea how bad I want to fall asleep next to you Dean. I would so much love to hear your breath and I am aching to hold you in my arms right now.” Cas voice was so tender.

“I love you!” Dean whispered before he could even think what he was doing. He heard Cas taking a deep breath. Oh, fuck! Too soon! This was too soon. Why wasn’t he able to shut his mouth for once.

“I love you too, Dean. I love you so much.”

What? Cas loved him back? Dean felt warmth and joy spread inside of him. His soulmate loved him. All his fears were just misunderstandings. Cas loved him!

“Now sleep, my love. We will meet at breakfast.” Cas said lovingly and Dean felt his eyes becoming heavy. With a smile on his face, Dean grabbed his old t-shirt to clean himself and crawled under the blanket. For the first time in weeks, he felt warm and satisfied and loved.

 


	12. Chapter 12

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, here is the last chapter. It's a little bit long but I didn't want to split it. I really hope you like the ending. ^.^

**_May 31st_ **

The graduation ceremony in the big auditorium of the high school had already been over for a few hours. After dinner with the Winchesters at the Roadhouse Dean disappeared to his graduation party. Cas couldn't believe they made it. That the four months were finally over. The last month had passed painfully slow at first. But towards the end, it went almost too fast. There was so much to prepare for their move to Pontiac and to correct the final theses. In between, Castiel was even in Pontiac to visit an apartment and finally buy it. Secretly. He wanted to surprise Dean. Although he had a dull feeling about it afterwards. What if Dean didn't want to move together so soon? What if he wanted to live on campus in one of the Dorms? Dean was only eighteen. Surely he wanted to enjoy a normal college life. With parties and everything that went with them. Even if there was a knot in Cas stomach every time he thought about it, he wasn't allowed to be so selfish and withhold these experiences from Dean.

Despite all the stress, he also tried to spend time with his soulmate. And more than once the phone was involved. Cas granted Dean the celebration with his friends. Of course, he did. Even though he wished for nothing more than to finally hold him in his arms but he knew he shouldn’t be impatient. Even though it was hard for him. But he would survive this last night. Cas decided to get a beer and some popcorn from the kitchen and make himself comfortable in front of his laptop watching Netflix. When he entered the kitchen, Mr Winchester was sitting at the kitchen table.

“Good evening, Mr Winchester,” Cas said.

“Problems to fall asleep?" Dean's dad wanted to know. “Maybe a little. I just wanted to grab a beer and some popcorn and watch a few episodes of Doctor Who. It's not very late yet and there's no school tomorrow.”

“No, there's no school tomorrow.” John was smiling at him. “I have to say that I am proud of you and Dean. I am aware that it wasn’t easy to follow my order during the last four months.”

Cas was smiling as well, feeling a little bit guilty because even if they didn’t touch, they had phone sex on a regular basis. “When do you leave? College doesn't start for two more months, but I suppose you and Dean want to leave earlier and spend some time alone”  
“I am not sure yet. I have to talk about it with Dean. I bought an apartment but I don’t know if he wants to move in with me right now or if he prefers to live on the Campus.” Cas answered.

“Ah, I see. . . But you would prefer to move in together, wouldn’t you?”

“Yes, of course, I would… but Dean is still very young and... Mr Winchester, I...”  
“Please call me John. I think it’s safe to say that you are a part of the family now.”  
“Oh, thank you, John. I'd love to. But … it would be nice if you could call me Castiel as well”

John smiled and reached out to shake hands.

“Good, Castiel. Welcome to the family. I must confess, at first I wasn't exactly pleased by the fact that you were Dean's soulmate. I had imagined it differently. I thought Dean was gonna settle down with a pretty girl and get me some grandchildren. I would never have thought that one of my sons could have a male soulmate.”

“Mr Winch. .. John, I am sorry. . . “

“No, Castiel. I am sorry. I'm sorry I didn't seem to know my son well enough. Anyone who sees you two fit together perfectly…And I'm so relieved that the universe chose you for Dean.”

Cas felt himself blushing. “Thank you, John. It really means a lot to me that you're not against our relationship. And I know it's incredibly important for Dean as well. His family means everything to him.”  John nodded.” Cas shoved the popcorn into the microwave and took a bottle of beer out of the fridge. “We won't be here all day tomorrow, by the way. Mary insisted you and Dean get some time for yourselves. That's why we're going to Bobby and Ellen's. Sam is coming too.” John announced. Cas felt his cheeks heat up again. They both knew what was going to happen when he would be alone with Dean. Embarrassed he cleared his throat

John giggled.

“Maybe your phone bill will be a little lower from now on.”

Castiel stared at Mr Winchester in shock. Oh, my God! Dammit! Dean's father knew!

“I must say, a clever way to bypass my instructions.” With a smile on his face he winked at Cas who was too mortified to say something. John rolled out of the kitchen in his wheelchair still laughing and Cas couldn't believe Dean's father wasn't angry. Cas also quickly went back to his room. He sat down on the bed and positioned the laptop in front of him. Sometime during the third episode of Doctor Who he must have fallen asleep. When he woke up by a knocking on his door, he was a bit disoriented at first. The empty popcorn bowl was next to him. The tv show had continued. Apparently, he'd slept an hour and a half. Then he heard the knocking again. He rose quickly and went to the door. To his surprise it was Dean. “Dean! It's just after midnight. I have. . . “

He wasn’t able to finish the sentence. As soon as he had opened the door more than a crack, Dean pushed him back into the room and closed the door behind them.

„All I could think about all night was you. To be honest, I haven't been able to think of anything else for the last four months... „

 Dean reached for Cas's T-shirt and pulled him closer. Then Cas felt Dean's lips on his and it was so good to finally be allowed to kiss his soulmate. Wantonly he pushed Dean even closer to himself and opened his lips with a moan to let Dean in. Dean's tongue ravished his mouth hungrily until they were both gasping and panting.

„Dean! I didn’t expect you to be home so early. You didn’t have to...”

“Fuck the party, Cas. I have been waiting long enough. I want to be with you. I need you. Please don’t send me away tonight.” Dean begged.

“Send you away? Are you insane? I nearly went crazy over the last few months. I wanted to touch you so bad. The phone sex was helping, but it wasn’t enough.”

“Good!” Dean said and smashed their lips together again.

"God, do you even know what you do to me?" Castiel murmured against Dean’s lips.

Without even letting Cas go for a moment, Dean pushed him back to bed so he fell on to it. But Dean didn’t join him at first. He stood in front of him and slowly opened the buttons of his shirt.

Castiel watched with rapture at the bare torso and Dean was biting his lower lip as he began to open the fly of his pants incredibly slow. This was torture!

Then Dean pulled his jeans and boxer briefs down.

Cas did quick work with his own clothes. He had to feel his soulmates skin. Now!

After sharing a moment staring at each other through hooded eyes Dean climbed onto the bed and kissed Cas tenderly almost shy.

Cas drew him closer to himself so that their bodies touched from head to toe, gently caressing Dean's back. The younger man shifted even closer and Castiel could feel Dean’s hard cock against his own. The feeling was mindblowing. Slowly they began to grind their lengths together. Cas knew he wouldn't last long if they went on like this. So he peppered kisses on Dean’s neck and his chest until he found his nipples. He first took one and then the other in his mouth and sucked

Dean arched his back and moaned.

„Cas…“

Encouraged by the reaction of his soulmate, Cas mouth wandered deeper and sucked on the soft flesh of the younger’s tummy. Dean's legs opened by themselves. The sight was exhilarating. Dean was laying below him, his eyes closed, his cheeks red, his mouth slightly opened and swollen from their kisses, his dick was hard and leaked precum while little moans escaped his lovers' troat. Oh God! Dean was so beautiful like this! On the inside of Dean's right thigh, Cas discovered the Soulmate tattoo. Dean got a new one, too. Warmth spread in Cas's chest. He gently stroke his fingertips over the two white wings, then he kissed the tattoo. Dean's breath came intermittently.

“Dean…”

“Please Cas, do it. Please…” Dean begged.

 Slowly, almost reverently, Cas brought their Soulmatetattos together, touching Dean’s inner tight with his wrist.

In retrospect, Cas must admit that he was not prepared for what followed. Although he had read countless books describing the fireworks of a soulmate tattoo connection, reality blew his mind. Cries of ecstasy filled the room and it took a while for Cast o realize that one of the screaming voices was his.

The feeling was indescribable. He had read that it was like fireworks, but that didn't describe it one bit. It was as if he had captured infinity in a single moment and as if Dean and he were the center of that moment. When he regained consciousness and opened his eyes again he wasn’t able to say how much time had passed. They both lay on the bed., his wrist still on Dean’s inner tight, both of their cocks still achingly hard. Everything was the same as before, but at the same time, it wasn’t. There was a connection between them that wasn't there before. It was almost as if he could feel not only his own excitement and love but also Deans. Cas looked into Dean's eyes and instinctively knew that his soulmate felt the same way.

„Cas…I… can you feel it?“ Dean asked looking at him in awe.

“Yes, yes my love. I feel it.” Cas whispered climbing on top of Dean and kissing him with all the love he felt.

Very soon the kiss grew heated again and they were rubbing their hard cocks together until Dean couldn’t take it any more.

“I want to be with you, Cas. I want to be inside of you. Please…” Dean moaned into his mouth.

Cas had no preference in being the top or the bottom but he always imagined Dean to be the bottom in his fantasies. But Christ did the thought of Dean being inside of him turn him on.

“Oh fuck, yes.” He groaned. 

Cas fetched the lube and a condom from the nightstand. Of course, he was prepared for this moment.

“I don’t think we need a condom. Except you think you are not clean.” Dean said, biting his lips.

“I am clean. I got tested a year ago and there was no one in the meantime. But…” Cas eyes grew wide.

“You mean… you never… I am your first…?” Cas knew he was babbling but Jesus Christ! The thought that his soulmate never slept with anyone filled him with so much joy.

“I did experiment with girls but I never went the whole way and I never did anything with boys. So yes, you are my first.”

“Wow! I am really honoured. And I promise I will guide you…”

“Oh shut up Cas. I watched enough porn to know what I am doing. At least in theory.” Dean said and rolled his eyes.

“Now don’t kill the mood and come here soulmate!” Dean ordered bossy.

Cas was only too happy to obey. Grinning, he lay down next to the younger man again.  But the grin immediately vanished when Dean grazed his lubed fingertips over the rim of his hole.

“Oh, fuck, fuck," Castiel cursed.

Slowly Dean guided his finger inside. The sensation was insane. Cas always loved to bottom and to be prepared but this was a completely new level. His heart was pounding fast and all the air was leaving his lungs so he had to gasp.

“Ahh”

Dean knelt next to him and watched each of his movements with hungry eyes. After a while, he added a second finger and grabbed Cas cock with his other hand. Then he slowly took him into his mouth and sucked.

Jesus! This was heaven! Or hell! Or both! Cas had to concentrate not to come right there.

“Please, Dean!” He begged, not knowing if he should focus on the soft warmth of Deans mouth or the stretching burn of his fingers.

Agonizingly slowly Dean added a third finger and thrust them in and out, scissoring and stretching him while his mouth sucked and licked, sending shivers along Castiel’s spine.

Cas couldn’t take it any longer, Dean had to get inside of him. Now! A deep growl escaped his throat.

He was begging now, "Fuck, please, Dean, just fuck me already, I need you… need your cock inside of me, please, please…”

Dean released his aching cock with a plop. He looked at Cas with lust blown eyes.

“Baby, you look so beautiful like this, falling completely apart…I could do this all night.”

“Please…” Cas was panting very hard now. “Please!”

Dean put some lube on his cock and lined it up at Cas entrance with shaky hands. Then he started to push in and the sensation of Dean finally thrusting inside had Cas seeing spots.

"Tell me to stop if I hurt you…" Dean ordered, only half sure he would be able to.

"No, don't stop Dean. I… I want more. You feel so good." Cas cried.

"You're so tight, baby." Dean moaned not knowing how long he could last.

After what felt like eternity Dean was finally fully seated.

Dean needed a few moments to collect himself. Otherwise, he would have spilled the whole load immediately.

“For heaven's sake, move. Dean!”

Dean giggled at Cas’ impatience but he obliged and started to trust in and out hitting the other man’s prostate with each drive.

Oh God! This was so good. Cas had sex before. Of course, he had. But nothing like this! Never did he feel only a fractional amount of this.

Dean's rhythm began to change. It got faster and harder. Cas knew they wouldn’t last any longer. He felt his orgasm built.

“I love you Cas! I love you so much!” Dean cried out and then he was spilling inside of Cas.

Cas wasn’t able to answer. His own orgasm was crashing through his whole body like a storm. Without being touched his cock spilled white stripes on his belly and chest.

It took them a while to come down from their highs.

“Fuck, this was amazing,” Dean said after a while.

 

Cas took him firmly in his arms and kissed his forehead.

“Yes, it was, Dean. More than that. It was mindblowing. I don't know what I did to deserve you, but I will be grateful forever. I love you, Dean Winchester. With everything I have. And I hope you never regret having accepted me as your soulmate after all.”

 Dean snuggled even closer to Cas.

“What an absurd thought. Like I could ever regret being with you. You're everything I want, everything I'll ever need. And I never want to be separated from you again. Not one night. “

 Cas cleared his throat.

“Then you. . . don't want to live on the campus?";

“What? Cas are you crazy! Of course not! I want to live with you.”

 “I…I wasn't sure. . . you're still young. Maybe you'd miss the wild college life. . . Maybe you'd like to try things out. I don’t know…”

Dean straightened up to look Cas in the eye.

“Try things? CAS! You don't think that after what just happened between us, I could even think about it with someone else. . . “

Relieved, Cas let out his breath. 

“Thank God for that! The thought that you. . . Oh, God, the thought is hardly bearable. But you're so young, and I don't want you to feel like you have to hold because of me. “Cas, of course, I will. Because of you. Because I love you and you are my soulmate. Listen, I'm sure I'll make new friends in college. For sure I will also go to one or the other party and maybe drink too much. But I'll always come home to you. But I certainly don't want anyone else but you. Not even when I'm drunk. Believe me. I want a life with you!" „Good! I might have bought an apartment for us already. I was hoping you would like to live with me.”

“That’s good news. When can we go there? I want our life together to start as soon as possible.”

“I thought we could move at the end of next week. We could come back here for a few days before College starts if you want.”

“Sounds fantastic!” Dean yawned.

“You should sleep now. It was a long and eventful day and we have the house to ourselves all day tomorrow

“Yeah? We do? Why” Dean asked and yawned again.

“Your mother thought we would need some time alone,” Cas explained.

“Like I would have been waiting until tomorrow.” Dean chuckled quietly and put his head on Cas's chest. Even before the older man could respond Dean had fallen asleep.  With a comfortable sight, Castiel spread the blanket over them. He couldn't believe he was allowed to fall asleep like this every night from now on. Fate had meant it really well with him, and he would take every effort to make Dean see it the same way.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you so much for reading, leaving kudos and commenting. This means a lot to me!


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